Making order out of chaos

Category — stick people

Nevermind the chocolate

Happy Easter everyone!

This is the Easter card I made for Joe.

Mmmmm...rabbit...

April 24, 2011   1 Comment

I like my men masterful and handsome

Remember Tom Cruise in Magnolia?  Remember this part:

Today’s sticky note is my take on the text version of that video on Fast Seduction 101 (probably NSFW).

Imma sex you up!

February 17, 2011   No Comments

Pets are not Barbie dolls

I see this in Vancouver frequently: a purse-sized animal – usually a dog – that is better dressed and more fashionable than I am. I see dogs in Burberry patterned raincoats, with warm little booties on their feet being lovingly hauled around in a Prada knock-off bag with their owners iPhone and $20 chapstick.

I could see getting a very small or sick animal something extra to keep them warmer or dryer in really nasty weather – I wouldn’t go pee in the backyard while naked in a snowstorm either – but some of the sites devoted to dog clothing seem to equate owning a pet with owning a barking (or meowing) Barbie.

Here are some of the examples I found online:

There are more.  There are many, many more.

Pet lovers reading this, especially pet lovers who buy their pets Juicy Couture clothing, are probably thinking, “What a bitch! I bet she hates all animals and kicks puppies!” Truthfully, I love animals and I miss having a dog around the house. I’d get one except that a) my lease forbids it and b) I want nothing smaller than a German Shepherd and it would be unfair to confine a big, energetic dog to this small amount of space.

But even once I have my dream pet I will never dress him up in couture clothing. I can’t imagine buying myself a designer track suit or nautical pantie set, so I sure as hell would not buy my dog that stuff (unless he requests it!). Besides, I can’t picture any piece of clothing that would look anything but demeaning and ridiculous on a dog that looks like a wolf.

So, future dog that I do not yet own, I am sorry you have such a cretin for an owner. I’m sorry that the other dogs in the park might tease you for your lack of fashion sense and deride you for being a backwards mutt who runs around in public naked. But, I promise that I will buy you the good food that will keep you healthy, take you to the vet regularly, play with you every day and be your best pal and that I will never, ever, refer to you as “my widdle snookums”.

Your pet hates you when you do this.

Thank you to Mala and her Onion calendar for the inspiration!

January 31, 2011   No Comments