Category — relationships

Mornings are a struggle at our house.

It’s bad enough that neither of us feel like working because it’s early, we’re sleepy and honestly, didn’t we do this yesterday? Wasn’t that enough?

And don’t even get me started on my calculations regarding the lack of truly free time on a work day – that is dangerous ground that leads directly to  me ranting and deciding on becoming a hermit in a forest or cave (or a cave in a forest, or whatever).

Knowing all this, I still do the following to poor Joe most mornings:

I’m pretty sure that there are mornings where I almost win (though I think there are more mornings where I’m lucky Joe doesn’t throttle me for making things difficult).

Do you go through this struggle every morning with your significant other (or are you evil like me and instigate the daily attempts to get the other to call in “sick”)?

Valentine’s Day is coming up soon and I was curious about its origins. My Google-fu was strong today so I have a few possibilities to list about this day of love and romance:

• We’re celebrating a martyred priest, a dead bishop and a guy martyred in Africa (all on February 14).
• We’re celebrating the martyred priest only (beaten, stoned and beheaded for refusing to renounce his faith).
• We celebrate the St. Valentine who was apparently so heartbroken after getting dumped by his mistress, he cut his own heart out and sent it to her.
• We’re celebrating the wrong St. Valentine altogether (there are five others which are not commonly celebrated).

Of course, most of us celebrate Valentine’s Day the way they did in Geoffrey Chaucer’s time when courtly love was as its peak – a day of romantic love, poetry, expensive gifts and possibly wedding proposals; not that I can find anything romantic about self-mutilation, stonings, beatings and beheadings.

If nothing else, our modern way of celebrating St. Valentine’s Day gives everyone at least one day of the year to feel special, loved and appreciated by their partners.

Yet, every year I feel slightly nauseated at the sight of the shiny red hearts and cute, plush kissy-face critters on sale at the local Hallmark stores. I am annoyed by the number of signs implying that if don’t buy Joe something really amazing, then there is a chance he’ll think I don’t care.

Thank goodness Joe dislikes Valentine’s Day more than I do!

We do exchange cards and sometimes I even get him gummy bears – but that’s it. No fancy dinner out, no diamond ring in the champagne or other Grand Gesture. Nothing that distinguishes this day as more important than any other in our relationship.

We tend to pick out little gifts all year long; a book, candy, a video game or silly card. We show our appreciation for each other everyday. Small gestures like a genuine “I love you” or taking care of a chore the other despises so the other one can play a video game instead. Those small things add up throughout the year so that Valentine’s Day has become just another scheme to make me part ways with extravagant amounts of money on cutesy stuff that will end up on a donation pile within six months (or less).

I never thought that cynicism could be born out of feeling incredibly lucky – but there it is: I’m incredibly lucky to have someone who shows his feelings for me everyday without all the fanfare and soppy drivel that usually accompanies Valentine’s Day.

Happy Wednesday Joe – I love you.

I’m sure this is a common occurrence in most households: you buy a bunch of bananas and for a few days they are in that perfect state of ripeness and look like something from a food magazine. These perfect bananas are eaten quickly.

By the next day they look spotted and diseased and your significant other named Joe won’t eat the last two.

Uh, not that I know this “Joe” person.

So anyway, you resort to bribery. You offer to make banana bread if he can bring you third spotty banana. You say it as though making a loaf of banana bread is the culmination of your life’s work and desires.

It works of course.

The third spotty banana is brought home and you coo over it as though you made it yourself. Banana bread is baked and then devoured with much enjoyment and large cups of tea.

Plus, positive reinforcement like the above ensures that eventually “Joe” will leave three bananas on the counter to go spotty.

And I’ll bake banana bread to celebrate.