Category — funny

A sticky note from an Angry Sammich (yes, sammich – English degree be damned!).

And no, this vindictive little slice of bread did not get his wish.

I know, it’s been done a million times – the old “search term” blog post; the post that proves you had nothing to say to anyone but felt the need to talk anyway.

I never said I was a creative genius. So, here they are; the search terms that have led people here since my first post (and my comments in parentheses):

• cthulhu whore (wtf?)
• using Valtrex instead of condoms (not a good idea btw)
• stick people
• facebook ettiquette, ex-girlfriends (so much I could say, so little time)
• erotic stories
• peeing -dog toilet “stick figure” (and again…wtf?)
• french stripper names
• darth vader’s penis (“Hey baby, wanna see my light sabre?” – oh come on, YOU were thinking it too!)
• “his dirty bare feet”
• wie spritzt der same aus dem penis (Google translate says it means: “such as injecting the same from the penis.”)
• addicted to pens (Whoever you are, me too! And I love you!)
• sneaky blueberries
• can you still get an STD after a vasectomy (Yes. Wrap it up you moron.)
• barbarian screaming

These are just the ones I found amusing. Anyone else want to share some of the more amusing (or horrifying) search terms that have brought them traffic?

No, I haven’t discovered some sort of disco bra; I’ve discovered the movie 27 Dresses.

There is a great scene where Jane and Kevin are dancing on the bar in some dive singing along to Benny and the Jets by Elton John.

I nearly peed my pants when Jane sings the line “…she’s got electric boobs…”. I was thrilled to discover that someone else had misheard that line in exactly the way I had misheard that line.

Never mind the worn out “…excuse me, while I kiss this guy…” stuff – electric boobs are WAY funnier.

I’ve misheard lots of song lyrics – but this one is my favourite. What song lyrics have you misheard?

Bonus points to those of you who have sung the wrong lyrics in public!