Category — drawing

Next in the Tortured Breakfast Food series, I give you…burnt toast.

Butter *is* bad for burns, but what about apricot jam? Is that bad?

I actually like my toast a little burnt; it tastes crispier, and the butter and jam are less likely to make the bread soggy.

A couple of days ago Joe and I awoke ridiculously early. We both lay around, ignoring each other’s rumbling bellies and annoyed sighs, as we tried to fall asleep again.

After a good 45 minutes of failure, I suggested that Joe should make pancakes, because – for me at least – that would make up for not being able to get back to sleep. He declined, saying, “But then I’d have to get up, and I don’t want to.”

A fair point, but I really wanted those pancakes. I could have made a reasonable attempt at making my own, but his are always better (and love is not the secret ingredient, cursing our apparently less-than-satisfactory spatula is). Anyway, I ended up with toast and tea, and he had a bagel. It was OK I guess, but I tasted phantom pancakes in every bite.

Later, we had the following discussion regarding Joe’s lack of sympathy for my failure to turn on my laptop and update Windows during the last month or so:

Me: Goddamn it. 22 Windows updates on my laptop. I should have kept on that I guess.
Joe: Ha ha.
Me: Your lack of sympathy has been noted. I reserve the right to spit in your food.
Joe: So noted. I reserve the right to eat any and all of the pancakes in your future.
Me: What??!! That’s an outrage! Outrage! My pancakes are mine. And so are yours for that matter.

And this is where autocorrect, or possibly my poor texting skills, stepped in to help me make my point:

Me: All the pancakes ate mine.
Joe: (probably smirking as he typed) Typo = failure to make outraged point. Plus, cannibalistic pancakes would be cool.

And so they would.

Hard to say if the strawberry is traumatized, or shocked at the sheer amount of free syrup on the ground.

This drawing is the result of reading The Walking Dead and drinking wine.

Maybe if the undead had had a few glasses of wine, they would have found other things to do than terrorize Rick Grimes and his terrified band of survivors.

Zombie grapes: it's what the discerning undead prefer.