The five secrets you must discover before you die – a book review

Title: The five secrets you must discover before you die
Author: John Izzo, Ph.D.
Publisher: Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc.
Pages: 167 (not including index)
ISBN: 978-1-57675-475-7
Price: $16.76 CDN

I don’t normally buy anything from the self help section of bookstores. I’ve always considered the fiction and literature sections to be all the self help I could need or want. I bought this book since it was the selection of the month for the book club I just joined. I opened it with the expectation that it would be full of new-agey, cheesy sort of talk about becoming one with the flow of the universe and eating more vegetables or something.

As it turns out, this book was actually not too bad.

The author, along with a team of people, interviewed over 200 people over the age of 60 (screened from a much larger pool of candidates) to find out the secret of their happiness. The interviewees were chosen by their friends and loved ones because they seemed to have a knack for being happy, and can look at their lives and say “I have no regrets and I am happy.”

The book is organized so that there is one secret per chapter so I found it very easy to read. I was also able to skip around a little in the book when I wanted to without worrying about keeping a storyline straight (or spoiling a storyline).

Speaking of spoilers, here comes one now: I’m showing you the man behind the curtain and revealing the five secrets (you’ve been adequately warned):

1. Be true to yourself.
2. Leave no regrets.
3. Become love.
4. Live the moment.
5. Give more than you take.

Not exactly mind-bending stuff.

These are all things anyone could have figured out on their own. However, there is something to be said for having them all collected in a book. I think the real difficulty of these “secrets” is incorporating them into your own life – especially as that generally involves a blunt self-appraisal of how you live and who you are and a lot of courage.

I did find parts of the book very repetitive – these secrets are really hammered home – and the third secret made me roll my eyes a little. The phrase  “become love” is a little saccharine for my taste, but I do agree with its meaning: acting like a self-absorbed jackass will ultimately lead to unhappiness (and probably a lot of loneliness since no one will want your company) so you should be nicer.

This book made me feel kind of guilty somehow though – like how I feel when I walk past people canvasing for charities downtown (“No thanks, just out for bus tickets!”), but I’m not sure this feeling is a point against the book. Maybe that little feeling of uncomfortableness is the point of the book.

The best part of the book (for me) was not Dr. Izzo’s explanations about what he means by these secrets. What stood out as I read and flitted from chapter to chapter were the direct quotes from the interviewees. The people Dr. Izzo and his team interviewed weren’t a bunch of young 30-somethings like myself who are only just starting to glimpse what it might be like to have some wisdom one day. These are people who have 30+ years on me and make me look like a silly kid – and what they have to say is valuable.

Their messages, in my opinion, were summed up best by the woman who said she always tried to think ahead to when she’d be old and grey and sitting in a rocking chair: would that woman look back at this moment with happiness or regret. If the answer was happiness, it was the right path.

Will I think that for myself when making decisions about my life? Probably not as often as I ought to, but at least it’ll be there in my head and I have the option of having a moment of wisdom.

I still stand by my opinion that the best self-help is found in the literature section, but Dr. Izzo’s book exceeded my expectations and gave me some food for thought.