A Letter to Starbucks
Dear Starbucks,
I swore I’d never go to another Starbucks after the Vancouver airport fiasco. The airport Starbucks served my fiance a muffin that had plastic bits in it which sliced up the roof of his mouth. To give you credit, you did refund my money for that – after an argument where you demanded a receipt and denied I’d ever been there, despite the fact that less than five minutes had passed since my purchase.
I tried again to go to a Starbucks a few months ago, but the creepy Paul McCartney CD covers near the muffin display put me off eating or drinking anything.
However, I thought to myself yesterday: ”The shrapnel filled muffin was just a mistake and it’s not Starbucks fault that Paul McCartney thinks he’s a 16 year old girl posing for a magazine cover. It’s hot, you need an internet connection and this place is not too busy and has wireless.”
So, I ordered an iced tea – no sweetener – and a slice of lemon loaf. I took a sip of the iced tea and brought it straight back to the counter to ask for one with no sweetener. This was annoying, but hey, mistakes happen. Your staff gave me a new one and a coupon for a drink on the house.
Here is why I won’t be redeeming that coupon anytime soon: your wireless Internet isn’t free.
Perhaps I’ve been spoiled by Waves Coffee and their free Internet and maybe I should I have just gone there instead, but you were right there and I was desperate. Your staff said I needed to pay for a connection and that I had to be a Fido, Bell or Rogers customer in order to pay. My phone is with Telus – apparently the only phone company not succumbing to the siren song of Starbucks – so I was S.O.L.
I should be more upset that you made my fiance bleed, but I figured that wasn’t deliberate. Forcing people to pay to use your wireless Internet is a very deliberate money grab. Is it that expensive? Are you worried that people will start piggybacking on your connection without purchasing something first? Is this the first step to making people swipe a credit card to use the toilet?
I’m not sure how you justify charging for an Internet connection and I certainly can’t understand why you’d limit who can connect, but I hope you’re using that extra income to pay your staff more and buy toilet paper for your restrooms.
Regards,
A Dissatisfied Customer
9 comments
I like it!
Thank you!
yeah….you have to have AT&T here to use “free” internet at StarBucks. The first time I rolled up in there with my lappy I was like WAHOO! COFFEE! TECHNOLOGY! funnnnn time. pfffft. they looked at me like I was a jack ass.
What is more amazing is those people who do pay for a SUBSCRIPTION for a frickin year at StarBucks. Only business assholes, and snobby, bored, rich, white, women every subscribe to that. (I say that with some lenience, because while I’m at star bucks that’s pretty much the population.)
Anyway, I agree. Damn them to hell for that. Although, next time you go back get a Venti, 3 pump cinnamon dolce, no h2o, Chai tea. Its amazing!
i hate coffee. i don’t go to starbucks. the end.
I still love Starbucks. Mind you, I’ve never had plastic in my muffins…
I wonder if my local Starbucks offers shrapnel filled muffins. I would like to see the poster advertising that.
I don’t drink coffee and I’ve never been in a Starbucks. I do, however, like Paul McCartney…though not posing like a 16-yr old girl.
BTW, I tagged you for a meme, but feel free to pass on it like you will future visits to Starbucks.
That would be the awesomest poster ever. Strawberry Shrapnel Delight muffins!
I like Paul McCartney – well, with The Beatles and Wings – but the back cover of that new CD is horrific.
Excellent, excellent letter. And so true on all counts. Please add “you bastages don’t let your Barnes and Noble outlets use your gift cards.” I always resented Starbucks for the charging for Internet. WHO does that anyway, especially if you are a coffee shop. I guess that’s why me and my laptop are always planted somewhere else…drinking slightly less expensive lattes.
I’m with you on that Maleesha – that’s why I love Waves here so much. Free Internet, nicer staff, cheaper and better beverages and all the TP I’ll ever need.
Leave a Comment