Good Manners and Common Sense are Dead

Manners and common sense are dead. I see the evidence for this on a regular basis here in Vancouver. It saddens me that so many people have such an I-me-mine complex. Here are some of my more recent and on-going complaints:

Gifts: Giving and Receiving

OK, this one is personal rather than general, but it still counts.

If you receive a gift from someone, acknowledge it and say thank you. Even if the gift was — oh I don’t know — a hideous, angora sweater the colour of baby poo. How hard is it to be genuinely grateful for the thought and time that went into picking that gift? Not very in my opinion. You don’t have to throw me a ticker tape parade, but at least email me and say “Thank you.”

On the other hand, if you are giving a gift, try to put more than three seconds of thought into it. I have received some thoughtless gifts in my time. One that stands out is the Valentine’s Day gifts I received many years ago: an eraser that said “Hot Lips”, and Grow-A-Creature (shark) and some other thing I can’t even remember. I don’t mind getting a bad gift if I think some thought went into it, but otherwise I’d be pretty happy with just a card.

Cell phones

I’ve had a cell phone since February of this year. It’s been really handy. I especially like not being tied to the house all day while waiting for phone calls. However, too many people seem to use their cell phone as an excuse to be rude. I would like to see people stop, or start, doing the following regarding cell phone use:

Stop talking so loud on the bus and in restaurants/cafes/bars. No one else needs or wants to hear your conversation. If the reception is that bad or the noise around you is that loud, consider saying, “My reception is bad and/or it’s noisy here. I’ll call you back when I don’t have to shout at you.” Then hang up.

On this same topic, it’s rude to talk on your cell phone while trying to deal with cashiers/baristas/servers etc. If your call really can’t wait, maybe your Starbucks coffee can.

It is also extremely rude to talk on your phone at the table while out with other people. Unless you are an on-call doctor or emergency person of some kind, put the phone on vibrate and let your answering service pick up your calls. It’s not fair to go out with people you have no intention of spending quality time with because you’re too busy talking on your phone.

Public Transit

Please wear less perfume. One spritz ought to do it. The point of perfume is to be subtle, so when people are close to you, they catch a hint of whatever tantalizing scent you’re wearing and it haunts their thoughts all day. Spraying yourself head to toe so you can smell your perfume outside in a hurricane is just ridiculous and rude. The most expensive and finest smelling perfume in the world will smell nauseating at that volume. In an enclosed space, it’s even worse.

Give up your seat for the elderly, disabled or pregnant and for the love of God, let the person in the wheelchair get on the bus first! I see this a lot here in Vancouver and it never fails to anger me: rude people who are so concerned they might not get a seat to read their copy of 24 Hours or Metro that they charge into the line ahead of people who were already waiting, people in wheelchairs and pretty much everyone else. If it’s that important that you have a seat, call a taxi.

Get off at the back of the bus. Unless you are unable to get to the back door, you should be exiting at the back. Ideally, this is how buses should work: people get on at the front and pay their fare while, at the same time, people get off at the back thus making room for the people getting on at the front. A nice, smooth process makes passenger loading and unloading faster so the buses can get to all their stops on time.

Take your backpack off. If the bus is pretty empty, then OK, leaving it on is no big deal. If the bus is crowded and you’re standing, the seated people do not want to be hit in the face with your over packed bag. I know; you needed to bring your gym shoes and your yoga gear and a huge lunch, another pair of shoes and your copy of War and Peace, but please, be considerate.

Driving

I can’t even begin to catalogue all the stupidity I see on the roads. The worst offenses seem to involve the following:

Roundabouts: Yes, these seem confusing, but go the ICBC web page and brush up on your skills already. If you can remember to signal through your turn and go counter-clockwise, you’ll be doing better than about 80% of Vancouver.

Signaling: Do it. Just do it. Signal your intentions to other drivers and pedestrians. We are not mind readers. Don’t yell at me because I crossed the street and you wanted to turn. I can’t know your intention to turn (or do anything else) unless you signal it. This rule also applies in parking lots.

Red lights and amber lights: A red light means ‘STOP’. It does not mean “Step on the gas and speed through the intersection.” Why are you rushing? There is just another red light up ahead anyway. An amber light means ‘This light will turn red in a moment. If you can stop, stop now.” It does not mean, “You can totally make this light before it turns red if the three cars ahead of you also trying to beat the red would just go a little faster.”

I can’t say for sure that better manners and common sense would make Vancouver, or any place, better overall.  But I can’t see how it would hurt.